Friday, April 1, 2011

Hard Partying Squirrels Spotted In Family Man

Source: National Geographic NW Squirrel Forecasting Center

Be warned. Recently several bikers have complained about excessive verbal abuse and heckling from a family of 'hard partying squirrels' located just NW of the 'Rhythm Trail' area. Images from local sources show a group of young adolescent tree climbing shrews have moved in the area causing 'territorial' incidents. Local agencies advise all bikers to ride with 'eyes peeled' and 'stay vigilant' when encountering these highly intoxicated rodents. If you witness or are the victim of recent abuse. Contact the local sheriffs office immediatley with description and location of your incident.

As of today, there have been over 50 reported complaints.

One longstanding local Couger uttered this warning to the squirrels "if any of those nut eating furry tail rats come near my den well just be prepared to meet your maker."

UPDATE: Early this morning a local vigilante Ford F250 took the law into his own hands and killed one of the squirrels rumored to be hanging out with this "Family Man Squirrel Posse"

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